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Colleagues living with cancer will need Professional and personal support.
Here’s an example of Workplace support: “I have some openings in my schedule this week. Can I take over the formatting for the monthly reports for you?” or “If you need to step out for an appointment, I can cover your calls—no explanation needed.”
In terms of personal support: If you are close enough to offer personal help, keep it practical and tangible, and ideally something you would do for them even if they didn’t have cancer because this will help to normalise their workplace experience. For example: “I’m ordering delivery for lunch, can I have something sent to your desk?” or “I’m running to the coffee shop, what can I grab you?”
| Professional support | Personal support |
| Communication Support (The Autonomy Principle) Respecting privacy and autonomy is paramount. It gives the colleague control over their story and how they are perceived at work. Ask Before Disclosure: Never share details about your colleague’s health with others without their explicit permission. Let them decide who knows what. Acknowledge and Listen: It is better to say a simple “I heard the news and I’m so sorry you’re going through this” than to say nothing. Be prepared to listen without offering unsolicited medical advice or clichés like “stay positive.” The “Traffic Light” System: Implement a low-friction communication method for days they are working but may have fluctuating energy. Respect Their Answer: If you ask “How are you feeling today?” and they say “Fine,” don’t push for medical details. They may want to use work as an escape from talking about cancer. | Low-Friction Daily Life Support (Removing the Mental Load) When undergoing treatment, basic daily chores can feel monumental. Close friends can step in to handle these without making a grand gesture out of it. Specific, practical drop-offs: Instead of asking, “Can I bring you dinner sometime?” try a highly specific, low-demand offer: “I’m making a batch of lasagna/soup this Sunday. I’d love to drop some off in a disposable container on your porch on my way home. You don’t even have to come to the door or say hello; I’ll just text you when it’s there.” Coordinating errands: If you are already doing something, fold their needs into your routine. “I’m running to the grocery store/pharmacy this afternoon. Send me a quick text with three or four things you need, and I’ll drop them on your porch.” Household or pet help: Offer specific, non-intrusive help. “If you’re heading to treatment on Thursday, I’d love to swing by and walk your dog in the afternoon so you don’t have to worry about it,” or “I’m mowing my lawn this weekend; let me swing by and do yours too.” |
| 2. Practical, Low-Friction Workplace Support (The Actionable Principle) Vague offers like “Let me know if you need anything” place the burden on the sick colleague to identify tasks and delegate. Specific offers are easier to accept. Offer specific coverage: Instead of “I can help with your work,” try: “Would it help if I took the lead on the Acme presentation next week? You can still attend, but I’ll handle the preparation. I have time this week to take over the client sync calls if you need to step back.” Become the “Co-pilot”: Volunteer to join critical meetings as a backup. If the colleague feels well, they lead; if not, you smoothly take over with no explanation needed to others. Handle Routine Administration: Offer to filter their inbox, handle routine status updates, or manage calendar rescheduling to reduce their mental load on tough days. Be a Buffer: If people from other departments are continuously asking about your colleague’s status or projects, volunteer to act as their primary point of contact to handle these inquiries. | 2. Treatment and Appointment Companionship Sitting in waiting rooms or undergoing long infusion sessions can be incredibly lonely and anxiety-inducing. Be the driver/companion: Offer to drive them to an appointment, sit with them during a long chemo session, or simply pick them up afterward. Frame it as a chance to hang out: “If you want company for your treatment on Tuesday, I’d love to drive you and bring a book, or we can just chat. No pressure at all if you’d prefer to go solo.” The “Waiting Room” advocate: Sometimes, having a trusted friend to take notes during complex doctor consultations—or simply to help navigate hospital parking and check-ins—can alleviate a massive amount of stress.Bring a distraction: If they want company during an infusion, bring a low-energy activity you can share, like a light card game, a cooperative mobile game, or just a mutual interest you both share (like listening to a specific podcast episode or sharing music). |
| 3. Logistical and Tangible Support Treatment can introduce unexpected practical burdens that colleagues can help alleviate. Offer transportation assistance: Ask, “Would it be helpful if I drove you to your appointment on Tuesday or picked you up after?” or coordinate a group fund for rideshare vouchers. Assist with errands: If you are running to the pharmacy or grocery store, send a quick text asking if you can pick anything up for them. Organise group meals: With their permission, set up a roster using services like MealTrain for colleagues who want to cook or coordinate restaurant delivery for the family. Small gestures: A simple, thoughtful card signed by the team, or flowers, can brighten their day and remind them they are not forgotten if they are taking time off. | 3. Creating “Cancer-Free” Safe Spaces Often, a patient’s entire life becomes centred around doctors, side effects, and prognoses. A close colleague can offer a rare and highly valued safe space where cancer isn’t the main character. The “No-Cancer” hang out: Invite them to do something normal, with an explicit opt-out. “I’d love to grab a coffee or sit in the park this weekend. We can talk about everything except work and doctors. But if you’re too tired, a simple ‘not today’ text is completely fine.” Keep sending the jokes: If you share a specific sense of humour, keep sending the memes, funny office updates, or lighthearted banter you always did. Maintaining that exact same dynamic reminds them of who they are outside of being a patient. The absolute right to cancel: Whenever you make personal plans, always include a “soft exit” clause. Remind them: “We are on for Friday, but if you wake up that morning feeling exhausted, you can cancel five minutes before we meet and I will not be offended in the slightest.” |
| 4. Emotional Safety and “Ugly” Venting In a close relationship, people often feel the pressure to “stay strong” for their family or put on a brave face for general coworkers. You can offer a space where they don’t have to be brave. Permission to complain: Let them know they don’t have to be a “warrior” or “positive” around you. “If you want to scream, cry, complain about the doctors, or just talk about how much this sucks, I am here to listen. You don’t have to put a positive spin on any of this with me.” Check-ins without expectations: Send text messages that explicitly require no response. For example: “Just thinking of you today. No need to reply to this at all—just wanted to send some love.” This lets them know they are cared for without adding “responding to texts” to their daily to-do list. |
